EXERCISE: True Joy
This is a fictional case study of a woman named Joy who has been living here life out of balance. Though fictional, many women can relate to her drive, her schedule, her responsibilities and obligations, and her pain. You may see aspects of yourself in Joy.
EXERCISE: Take the time to read this page and stay with the story to the end. You deserve this time for yourself to reflect. After reading, sit with yourself for a few minutes in stillness, maybe light a candle. Absorb Joy's story, her plight. See what bubbles up, what resonates, what feels familiar to you. If you like to journal, write down some thoughts about your own life and what might help create change.
True Joy
From the outside, it looked like Joy had it all. She lived the perfect life. But what they didn’t realize was she was falling apart inside.
Joy was a successful business woman married to an accountant. By 41, she had worked her way up the ladder with a long list of successes on her LinkedIn profile with a master’s degree and an MBA. A go-getter, consumed at work, she was now being considered for a Vice President position at her rapidly growing company. Joy was also a long-distance runner, and her colleagues cheered her on, especially around marathon time. Smart, successful, and well respected, she was highly sought after. But she was so accommodating and so driven that she couldn’t say no to requests or opportunities.
To add to the stress, Joy’s father needed more and more attention due to failing health. Her husband was feeling neglected, and he was giving up on the idea of having children, a dream of his. In the hopes of hiding her anxiety, she never got help or discussed it with anyone; but she was in and out of the doctor’s office for stress related medical problems and awake every night at 3 am working on her laptop. Joy was plagued every night with thoughts of her to-do list, feeling guilty, angry, and afraid: “There’s so much on my plate tomorrow, and I feel ill. I don’t want to go to work.” But she pushed herself. “I just want to take the day off and stay in bed. But I can’t or I’ll get more behind.” A monolog ensued, with no audience but herself. “How did I get myself into this situation? My friends are upset with me because I keep cancelling plans. All this is my fault.”
The thoughts were accumulating: “I have a run in two weeks, but no time to prepare. I’m exhausted. How am I going to do this? I can’t get hurt, or I’ll be out of work. Then what?” She wouldn’t tell anyone, so she pushed herself….and the thoughts became more intense, running into each other: “These headaches are getting worse, and I’m drained and run down. I’m in and out of the doctor with colds and stomach pains. And my marriage…I can’t even think about how he must feel. And my Dad! He needs me. And my promotion. What if they find out that I’m a mess? I’m such a horrible person. Who have I become?”
One day a friend suggested she practice yoga to learn how to relax. Joy signed up for a class but could rarely get there, so, of course, nothing changed. Her husband would say, “How can things change if you don’t make enough time to get to the things that will help?” Wow, she thought. Why don’t I have that clarity he has? I can’t even think straight! So one night she got to a class and heard the teacher talk about a daily practice. In her dreams she craved this because in class, yoga and meditation felt so good. Imagine doing this every day, she thought. But she couldn’t fit it in. Then a small voice inside told her, If you can’t practice yoga every day, practice mindfulness. It will change your life. Was it her intuition?
She felt an opening. But by the next morning, she was in her rat race again and forgot. Sleep deprivation affected her daily. Her staff noticed she missed meetings and was forgetful. Though still good at her job, it drained her and took everything to focus on making it work. Thoughts at night slipped into her days. She wondered how she could change her life. She had lost true joy, and she didn’t have any supports who knew the truth. Completely out of balance, she faced either falling apart or overreacting. She needed help but didn’t know where to start.
Then one morning, unable to get out of bed from exhaustion, her husband sat down next to her and begged her to make a change. He told her she wasn’t being kind to herself. He said he noticed that after yoga she was more relaxed with a light in her eyes, and she slept better. Then he told her that his friend’s wife was going through a similar experience but had started working with a therapist who specialized in helping people bring balance back into their lives. His friend said his wife was happier than she had ever been and after working on it told her husband that “life will keep you too busy if you let it!” He said to Joy, “Take the day off, and let’s work on this. Let’s get the balance back in your life. For us. For you.You don’t have to live this way. Let’s get Joy back.”
EXERCISE: Take the time to read this page and stay with the story to the end. You deserve this time for yourself to reflect. After reading, sit with yourself for a few minutes in stillness, maybe light a candle. Absorb Joy's story, her plight. See what bubbles up, what resonates, what feels familiar to you. If you like to journal, write down some thoughts about your own life and what might help create change.
True Joy
From the outside, it looked like Joy had it all. She lived the perfect life. But what they didn’t realize was she was falling apart inside.
Joy was a successful business woman married to an accountant. By 41, she had worked her way up the ladder with a long list of successes on her LinkedIn profile with a master’s degree and an MBA. A go-getter, consumed at work, she was now being considered for a Vice President position at her rapidly growing company. Joy was also a long-distance runner, and her colleagues cheered her on, especially around marathon time. Smart, successful, and well respected, she was highly sought after. But she was so accommodating and so driven that she couldn’t say no to requests or opportunities.
To add to the stress, Joy’s father needed more and more attention due to failing health. Her husband was feeling neglected, and he was giving up on the idea of having children, a dream of his. In the hopes of hiding her anxiety, she never got help or discussed it with anyone; but she was in and out of the doctor’s office for stress related medical problems and awake every night at 3 am working on her laptop. Joy was plagued every night with thoughts of her to-do list, feeling guilty, angry, and afraid: “There’s so much on my plate tomorrow, and I feel ill. I don’t want to go to work.” But she pushed herself. “I just want to take the day off and stay in bed. But I can’t or I’ll get more behind.” A monolog ensued, with no audience but herself. “How did I get myself into this situation? My friends are upset with me because I keep cancelling plans. All this is my fault.”
The thoughts were accumulating: “I have a run in two weeks, but no time to prepare. I’m exhausted. How am I going to do this? I can’t get hurt, or I’ll be out of work. Then what?” She wouldn’t tell anyone, so she pushed herself….and the thoughts became more intense, running into each other: “These headaches are getting worse, and I’m drained and run down. I’m in and out of the doctor with colds and stomach pains. And my marriage…I can’t even think about how he must feel. And my Dad! He needs me. And my promotion. What if they find out that I’m a mess? I’m such a horrible person. Who have I become?”
One day a friend suggested she practice yoga to learn how to relax. Joy signed up for a class but could rarely get there, so, of course, nothing changed. Her husband would say, “How can things change if you don’t make enough time to get to the things that will help?” Wow, she thought. Why don’t I have that clarity he has? I can’t even think straight! So one night she got to a class and heard the teacher talk about a daily practice. In her dreams she craved this because in class, yoga and meditation felt so good. Imagine doing this every day, she thought. But she couldn’t fit it in. Then a small voice inside told her, If you can’t practice yoga every day, practice mindfulness. It will change your life. Was it her intuition?
She felt an opening. But by the next morning, she was in her rat race again and forgot. Sleep deprivation affected her daily. Her staff noticed she missed meetings and was forgetful. Though still good at her job, it drained her and took everything to focus on making it work. Thoughts at night slipped into her days. She wondered how she could change her life. She had lost true joy, and she didn’t have any supports who knew the truth. Completely out of balance, she faced either falling apart or overreacting. She needed help but didn’t know where to start.
Then one morning, unable to get out of bed from exhaustion, her husband sat down next to her and begged her to make a change. He told her she wasn’t being kind to herself. He said he noticed that after yoga she was more relaxed with a light in her eyes, and she slept better. Then he told her that his friend’s wife was going through a similar experience but had started working with a therapist who specialized in helping people bring balance back into their lives. His friend said his wife was happier than she had ever been and after working on it told her husband that “life will keep you too busy if you let it!” He said to Joy, “Take the day off, and let’s work on this. Let’s get the balance back in your life. For us. For you.You don’t have to live this way. Let’s get Joy back.”