Counseling for Pet Parents: Adjustments and Bereavement
EMDR* and Gentle Reprocessing*
are now offered with successful outcomes for traumatic pet loss.
Parenting and loving a dog has become a passion of mine, and I commit fully to her. I enjoy helping
people learn how to manage their lives with dogs and other pets. If you're reading this, the bond you
have with your pet may be important to you, as well.
If you love your pet/s and consider them as members of your family, much of your time and energy could be allocated to caring for, training, exercising, and spending time with your pet. Pets are a commitment. Certainly, if you have a dog, that is an understatement! Dogs require a significant commitment! And because animals generally have shorter life spans than humans, pet parenting also involves, at some point, loss.
Pet parents can experience challenges around pet issues, such as:
- Change, loss, or bereavement before or after a pet dies, becomes ill, is lost, or has a change in custody (i.e., divorce) **
- Finding time to offer mental stimulation to the pet
- Finding resources for care during emergencies or vacations
- Behavioral issues (which would include referrals to trainers or vets).***
Loss and Bereavement: Loss of a beloved animal companion can be quite difficult for people, and sometimes feel devastating. Sometimes this is anticipatory bereavement: the grief people experience knowing the animal is ill and will leave soon, whether naturally or by euthanasia. Witnessing such deep love for another's animal and sitting with them in their grief is what I consider a sacred experience, especially when we know many people do not understand or shame one's grief. Pet bereavement is still stigmatized in our culture, and many pet parents grieve behind closed doors, trying to put on a happy face to the outside world. Many pet parents have nowhere to turn in their experience of loss. Whether you have (or know someone who has) lost your pet recently or a long time ago, the feelings can run deep. We have close bonds with our animals and are recipients of their unconditionality and ability to be present. We learn much from them and grieve them when they become ill, are lost, or die. Some people, though wanting an animal in their life again, say they will never get another pet, as they can never experience that kind of loss again. But we can learn much from our loss by learning about their gifts to us. Drawing on Eastern philosophies, I help people not only process the loss and tolerate the grieving experience, but come to peace about the impermanent and temporary relationship they had with their pet.
Here are some important facts to help you know that your feelings are normal:
- In our culture, the Human Animal Bond is very strong. (Many children, adults and seniors attach more strongly to their pets than to some people.)
- Pets can make us feel more secure and safe.
- Pets makes us feel less isolated and help us reach out to others.
- Pets in a home can help families feel happier and more cohesive.
- Our pets often create structure in our lives: our routines, the people we see on our walks, our activities.
- When our pet is removed from our life, not only is the pet gone, but the bond, attachment, safe feelings, routines, activities and some social interactions are gone, too.
- Depression, anxiety, sleeping and eating problems often occur when the pet dies.
- Grief over our pets can be as strong as losing a family member or friend. For people who live alone, this can be worse.
hotlines, and feel free to call me for a phone consultation to determine if counseling may help for your situation, and if your insurance might cover your sessions. Double click here to contact me.
*EMDR, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is a a well-researched evidenced-based trauma treatment.
*Gentle Reprocessing, is a treatment which integrates components of EMDR, IFS and CBTx.
**I hold a Certificate of Achievement in a course on grief counseling specific to pet loss.
***Issues around behaviors may include a referral to trainers or vets.
*Gentle Reprocessing, is a treatment which integrates components of EMDR, IFS and CBTx.
**I hold a Certificate of Achievement in a course on grief counseling specific to pet loss.
***Issues around behaviors may include a referral to trainers or vets.